Monday, January 30, 2012

January update

Got an email from NLL that the kids are doing great! Here is their monthly update picture:



They look so thrilled for their photo op, don't they! Jovanika is wearing a skirt that I brought to her last time I was there. It used to belong to Avery.

It was so hard to say good bye and leave them the last time I was there, that I told myself I wasn't sure that I could do that again. I was really thinking in my head that it may be best if I don't go back until I either have to go to court again or go to get them. It was so hard on me, but I can only imagine how hard it must have been on James & Jovanika. They can't process what is going on and I can only imagine that to them, it must seem like I abandoned them. They probably don't understand that I can't wait to come back and get them and bring them home to their forever family. Just thinking about it makes my heart break.

While those thoughts were going through my head as I came back from Haiti, this morning I was sitting at my desk thinking how can I NOT go back?! I miss them so much. Not only do I miss my kids, but I miss Haiti... The people. The hot sun. The not having to check email or cell phone. The laid back-ness. The not worrying about upsetting people if you aren't on time, because, hey, nobody is ever on time.

Thinking about going on another mission trip with BGM in June. I LOVE LOVE LOVE doing VBS and going to the villages. This would be a great opportunity to get to see J & J while also getting to serve and see more of Haiti. One of the big factors keeping me from committing to this trip is the financial aspect. We are diligently saving each month to pay all of the fees associated with the adoption. On one hand I feel unsure about spending money on this mission trip when maybe it should be going in our savings. But on the flip side, it would be money well spent AND I would get to bond with my babies!! Decisions, decisions.....

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